“Everything that you have been through should push you towards your destiny”, is the quote that keeps me going whenever I feel stuck. For the past twenty something years of my life, I have learnt so much about how life can be such a hard nut to crack. However, I did not realize that all the difficulties that I have been through have made me stronger each time. I emerge victorious no matter how badly shaped I became amidst the trials. I remember a few months ago when I made a choice to never blame myself for making mistakes especially those that I made involuntarily because I am human and I can never be perfect. Acknowledging that you are human, will save you a big deal.

REFLECT ON YOUR TRUTH.IS IT WORTH IT?

So what made me make that decision? I went through an obnoxious experience|(Who knows, I might as well talk about THE it soon); that I knew would affect how I relate with my family and friends. It was worth it. Definitely. Those who know me understand that I am very indecisive but I chose to learn how to be assertive and talk about how I feel no matter what people think about me. The Bible is crystal clear about being audacious from the book of James 5:12. It says that we should let our Yes be a yes and our no be a no, or anything other than that will lead to your condemnation. I chose to talk about anything that affects the society blatantly. So, forgive me if my truth embargoes your ego. I may have been criticized or viewed as oblivious but that is how I am wired especially when it comes to talking about my truth; which is definitely the worst pill that anyone can swallow. So bitter is the pill that it cost me friendships and relationships. I am fond of saying that you should not pursue that which does not give you peace. It does not matter who is upset about your decisions. Live your life! They got nothing on you, you came to this world alone and you will return unto dust all alone. So cliché right? But would you rather be at peace. Stop doing things with the intention of pleasing others. For how long will you be trapped under that umbrella of ‘what will people think of me?’. Hey, but I am not encouraging anyone to engage in promiscuous activities if you know what I mean, just because you can. I am simply telling you to learn how to say no to anything that would compromise your values.

Let them know your truth 100%. My truth is being patently candid .What is your truth?
Until next time, BE YOU.
Adios. 🙂

 

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I hate snakes, I hate anything that is classified into the reptile kingdom. I cannot even begin to envisage what I would do if I found one wherever. For some reason, snakes creep me out. They can be very venomous, very calculated, very violent and ‘friendly’ at the same time. But you have to be very careful with this one because at any moment when defenseless, it could strike and kill you at an instance, with its fangs of course. I may dislike snakes but what I would rather not have is people who evidently represent the reptile kingdom. Friends who act all nice to you on your face but talk ill of you behind your back. I always say that such people are poison to your soul, because every time you hang out with them, you give them the chance to feed your mind with negativity, very intentionally. With such kind of poisonous people, you will find yourself wadding off from your core values and before you know, you are left empty! How can humans survive without moral values? There is no way that you could benefit from such hypocrites!

Just what is your why?

Life can be great, life is what we make of it, and life is so precious folks. I just woke up this morning with such a grateful heart, keeping in mind that I have been given another chance to handle the hustles and scrimmages of life gracefully. For some reason, I thought to myself, what is my purpose in life? What is my why? I mean we have so much stamina as humans to do whatever to conquer the world; yet we fail to make good use of the time that is definitely not on our side.  Just stop for a moment and think, why are you here? Do you know why you are still in existence? Most importantly are you just existing or engaging in activities that should make your life better? If your answer is ‘I do not know’, then we have a problem.  You have to discover what your purpose on earth is. I believe that at the end of this journey of discovery, most of the problems that we face will be flashed out of the face of this problematic world.

I believe that my purpose is to change lives positively through my write ups. I believe that my thoughts are genius, so lucid, reassuring you name them…but you know, enough about myself. Let us focus on helping you discover your purpose. First, I prayed a lot about it, God knows I would cry asking him for help.  I desperately needed to understand why I exist. Indeed, years later I got to know that I am made to be a great writer. One of my very ‘substandard’ articles (at least I thought) on sexual violence was published earlier this year by the Standard Newspaper on the 15th of February. Truth be told, this was God speaking to me directly, saying, “You are destined to change lives through your write-ups.”  Another way to discover your purpose is that you won’t  have to strain. By this I mean that you won’t have to struggle to do it whatever it is what you love doing and sometimes you won’t realize how much time you have spent on it. I would wake up in the wee hours of the night and begin to type words randomly to form a sentence and even found myself smiling midway  involuntarily , clearly indicating how much I enjoy writing.

Thirdly, your friends and family constantly tell you that you are good at something. You are probably thinking that your family or friends might be encouraging you to follow a certain path just by the virtue of the fact that you are related or close enough. Knowing that the truth hurts, they would rather lie that you are good at something than face you and tackle the issue at hand head on but recurrently. My parents in particular would encourage me to keep going, write more and grow, I guess that is why they shipped me all the way to one of the best schools of Communication and media studies. My point is, you have no choice but to pay attention to the repetitive pieces of advice they affirm,  no matter how annoying they may sound because, they’ve probably seen how intense your capabilities are in certain areas.

So, after the discovery, what next? you ask. GET DOWN TO BUSINESS! I will tell you for free that you cannot grow if you do not take risks to make your life better.Follow through the path of your purpose, do not tire to prove to yourself and the world at large that you are here to bring about tremendous changes.Keep going , you might lose friends along the way,so what? Life is once folks! Do it for you.

That is it for today. Do not shy away from commenting, all opinions are valid; I would really like to know what your thoughts are on purpose.

Until next time,

BE YOU:) Adios

 

Break that chain,Woman Up!

I hate excuses.I hate being late. I hate disappointing people, but most importantly, i hate cat fights and by this i mean, wrangles among st women! Someone once said that women are their own worst enemies…I hate the fact that this is true. Women, are so powerful yet they tend to give out that power just by word of mouth. When you speak ill of your fellow, you are gaining nothing at all, in fact, you are empowering her.  She will go beyond  her potential, being the best mother, wife, sister, that anyone would ask for.  She will become her own boss doing her thing and proving her backbiters wrong! She will travel to further her studies because she understands that she deserves the best things in life, she will take the risk  and date that man that she truly loves no matter what people say, she will eat right, she will exercise, she will turn her ‘can’ts’ into ‘cans’, she will breathe in and start a fresh instead of giving up on her dreams, she will not beat herself up for failing to achieve much, she will always be grateful for whatever situation, she will love herself first.

Women will smile right at your face and say the most outrageous things about you in your absence. So what if she is a single mom? At least she chose to keep that precious jewel instead of aborting. They will play the  ‘I am so proud of you’ game but still sleep with your man, they will ‘provide a shoulder for you to lean on’ just to get something to share with your mutual friends. It is so unfortunate that women are the first on the front line to rebuke sexual violence, yet they are the very people who will blame the victims for dressing ‘indecently’ or succumbing into the pressure. Women, would be there only when you have material things to offer that is money, cars,  decent house(s), sassy and trendy clothes, the latest iPhone makes; you name it! Gosh! women are indeed their worst enemies.

My concern is, when is this trail of immaturity going to end? Is it so difficult to incorporate one another despite their baggage? We need to grow up! It is about that time ladies. The world needs us not in part but wholly. If you look intently at united women, they are so empowered and unstoppable! It is undeniably factual that we have no choice but to swallow that pride no matter how bitter, change our perceptions and attitudes of the world and conquer everything that there is! It is time to woman up!

Until next time, Be you 🙂

 

 

It’s never too late to start over!

Hello there gorgeous! Yes, I know, I know, you have heard the tired phrase ‘Never give up’ incalculable times. It’s probably almost a song to you by now, but I am going to talk about it anyway. One of the most infuriating statements I have heard from people within my circle are: ‘I gave up because it was just too hard to keep pushing’, ‘I cannot do this because I do not know what people will think about me’ or ‘oh! I was not born to pursue that path, it’s just not for me and so I gave up on it.’ Such statements have killed dreams and delayed people from pursuing their callings/ purposes for which you were created for. I know that it gets really tough along the way especially because  the devil is aware of your capabilities. I recall my high school principal saying that when the going gets tough, know that you are about to get to the top. Unfortunately, it is at the ‘this is too hard for me’ stage that most of us, surrender.

You see, there is a reason(s) why you are still breathing, it means that you have not yet accomplished your mission in this world. You could be that president/ leader that the world has been waiting for to bring about tremendous changes. What will happen if you give in just because?…Believe you me, I once succumbed to the pain and temptation of throwing in the towel on a writing company that I once worked for , just because the pressure was too much for me. The calamitous consequences that followed thereafter got me all remorseful especially because it was rumored that I would be promoted from a writer to an editor. Even If I decided to go back, it would never have been the same, that’s how painful giving up gets.

You should not give up because you have come too far to do so.I would like to use one of my greatest testimonies. Gosh! Indeed the Lord is good! When I was about five, I was diagnosed with Hepatitis B. This disease comes about when you have an infection in your liver. You could get infected if you come in contact with someone who has the virus through open wounds, blood or other body fluids. It can get really chronic especially if it is not treated soon enough, hence leading to Liver failure and cancer. Some of the symptoms that I presented included; change in the color of urine to almost yellow- orange, jaundice (yellow eyes), fatigue and nausea and vomiting;not fun times by the way.
By then, it had no cure. My dad says that I was so sick and almost at the verge of death. It was around Christmas holiday and there was a song that my dad played on the radio as he took me to hospital, it played like this, ‘Christmas, Christmas, everybody shine!’ I am sure most of you can remember the song. I would mumble the lyrics of the song and look at my dad and say ‘Baba, Merry Christmas.’ I’m told that these cut through his heart and made him cry since he thought that I was about to breathe my last. To cut the long story short, I survived, through God’s grace because believe you me, this disease had no cure! I survived because, God saw it best that I live to fulfill my purpose on this earth. Each time I remember my story, I am convicted to push harder in a bid to pursue that which I was created to do! Giving up is no longer a priority, no matter how hard it gets.

Folks, quit giving excuses and start pursuing your dreams. Know your why- ask yourself why you are still here when some of your friends or family members are long gone! Think about it, try out new things and you will be surprised at how great things will unfold in your face! You are meant to do great things that you cannot even envisage. Divert that energy that triggers you to say ‘I cannot.’ into ‘I can’ because, undeniably, YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS YOU. It is not simple but do it anyway. Allow God to strengthen you.
Your efforts will pay off one day!

Until next time,
BE YOU 

Its about that time folks!

Hello! First of all I am so excited that September is over! So, Happy New month sweethearts!
Since it is a new month, I decided that am going to talk about something that we often look forward to achieving but procrastination takes the better part of us and that is goal setting!
When was the last time you set your goals and achieved all of them? Well, worry not, I am going to share what I have done for the past few months. For me, writing what I want to achieve is the easier choice than actually doing it. I have realized that I get shattered along the way especially when I set goals about ‘getting fit at the gym’ and I end up thinking, “Gosh, why do I need to work out?! I am too slender for life already!” You can tell from my thoughts that I easily give up especially about things that do not motivate me! However, setting goals can be very productive particularly if you stick to your plan(s). So let’s get started…shall we?

First, put your goals down in writing and stick it somewhere close to you, say your bed, to remind you of what you ought to achieve! Ensure that whatever you write is a motivation to you. Do not mind what your roommates or family will say about your goals; as long as they are sensible and are gonna make you a better human being. This brings me to the next point. Do you remember the acronym S.M.A.R.T taught in High school?
1.S-Specific Goals. You need to set clear and concise goals. Being specific in goal-setting acts like a map showing you directions to take.
2.M-Measurable goals. This is whereby you decide to indicate the specific date /amount of time it’s gonna take for you to achieve something. Let’s say you want to start saving some money to buy a certain car, your aim here should be to think of the amount that you’d want to achieve at the end of say 7 months.
3.A-attainable goals. Let’s be honest, very few of us like a challenge right? The rest tend to opt for the easier stuff. We do not want to engage ourselves in what’s hard to achieve. Yes it will be alright to set goals that you think you can achieve but then again, please take up the challenge. Prove to yourself that you can actually achieve that which you never thought was possible. I assure you that the beauty of it all is life changing. Your confidence shoots sky-high and you would want to do more challenging stuff in the future.
4.R-relevant goals. What are your reasons for setting this goal(s)? How relevant are they in your life (career, family, academics)? What will change in your life once you achieve those goals? These are some of the questions you are supposed to ask yourself as you think about setting your goals. For example, in my case, recently, I wanted to get to the dean’s list (3.60G.P.A) so badly that I swore to do whatever it took to boost my academic performance. Guess what, I achieved that goal because I believed that it was relevant in my academics and I worked my head off! So if I did it, so can you!
5.T-time-bound goals. This is simple. Your goals should have deadlines, period! You need some motivation to achieve that goal, then put a practical deadline on it.
Now, I know how difficult it can get especially when you are close enough to getting what you want, and suddenly it’s like you wanna give in. When that urge comes knocking, PRAY about it. I believe that God wasn’t joking when He inspired the writers to jot down “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” There is just something about praying and believing in what you pray for. Try it today. I believe that whenever you put your mind into doing something and believe that you can, then you will.
Just stick to the plan, pray and always believe in yourself.
Until next time,
BE YOU 🙂
Adios!

Bitterness is not your portion

I remember waking up to a message spoken by a celebrated preacher on TBN (channel 343 on DSTV), one morning. He said “Bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” I thought this made so much sense since a huge number of people globally, struggle with bitterness. For sure, it is a silent killer that sprouts out from anger. We tend to stress over how oblivious people treat us. We ask questions that can raise our stress baseline leading to so much pain and heartache in our lives. “Why me?” being one of them. We focus so much on what they tell you, “You’re so skinny! Gosh what is wrong with your teeth, they are so crooked!” or the most painful statement (at least I thought) that I was told years ago – “You are too dark for life” Believe you me, those six words tortured me, bruised my self-esteem. For the longest time I was so angry at that person whom I thought was right.

Consequently, bitterness took the better part of me. I was so stubborn and most of the time angry at my parents for my genetic make-up that gave birth to the melanin and the person who made that statement. But not anymore, I am a melaqueen, fearfully and wonderfully made. 😉

Now, writing to you about this issue truly resonates from my heart because I have been there. I know how it feels to be hurt and carry it along with you for as long as you are not willing to let go of the pain. The truth of the matter is, the world is full of wicked people, devoid of empathy. Those folks who hurt you so much that you can’t help but think, aren’t there people left with good hearts? Well, you can cope by first identifying the source of your bitterness. Having a face to face conversation with that person will pay off since you’ll be able to see their nonverbal expressions and tell what they think. Sending them an email or text messages may also almost be futile for the reconciliation situation. During this period, you would want to find out if you are the catalyst of the conflict between you and your ‘offender’.

Secondly, I have learnt that a number of people write emails to their ‘offenders’ but never send them. In the email, they mention how hurt they are. It is at this point that they allow all the retaliatory rage that they have to come out through emailing. It is a healthy lifestyle in the long run. Alternatively, you could opt for my favorite which my mom says is the best for spiritual growth, write a list of all the people that have hurt you and pray for them one by one telling God to help you forgive them. Trust you me, this works magic, as long as you are ready to release them off your heart. At the end of it all, you will be so much at peace.

Lastly, analyze what transpired in the past in order to avoid the quagmire of over cycling feelings of hatred and worthlessness. You have to decide that you won’t burden yourself with pain and anger which results to bitterness, no! That cycle has to stop and you are the only one who has the proficiency to do it.Remember that folks will only intimidate you when you give them that permission.
You could be that businessman/ lady who has not yet come to terms with the paper bag ban and you’re bitter about the N.E.M.A decision, or that single lady whose heart was broken because you couldn’t engage in premarital sex, or you are a student facing a financial crisis, do not be bitter. God promised that He will never leave nor forsake us but will be with us until the end of time. Keep in mind that His promises are true and amen. Take your burdens to Him and He will give you rest.
I’ll leave you with a quote “Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.” Martin Luther King Junior. I hope I was able to enlighten you.

Until next time, BE YOU

God bless.

Feeling rejected? No problem.

Rejection is one of the most painful experiences that can happen to anyone. It is that excruciating pain that you feel in your spleen whenever your confidants, acquaintances, family or even your spouse reveals certain confidential aspects of your life to other folks. Can you even begin to imagine how they can have the audacity to destroy your self-esteem by simply uttering one word? My mom is fond of saying that there is nothing as powerful as the tongue. So whatever you are about to speak, take two and think about whether or not it will elevate or break people.

A couple of weeks ago, I went through that phase of rejection. I suffered the silence treatment and being talked about negatively of course behind my back. In such situations, it is a good thing to be assertive and decree that you will not accept to be a victim of circumstance, the laughing stalk along the hallways or the stressor. I think the best way is to confront the ‘offender’ as a way to ascertain that you did not catalyze that rejection. If you find that you were on the wrong, swallow your pride, apologize but not for the sake of clearing your conscious.
On the other hand, if you happen to be acquitted and still facing the rejection, then it’s best to walk away having in mind that you are not to be blamed for anything. Move on and whatever you do, don’t beat up yourself. Hey! Remember Jesus Christ of Nazareth? Guess what, He was also rejected in His own hometown and that didn’t deprive Him of His glory. He still remained to be the King despite the rejection and persecution He underwent. So what more can a King’s child undergo and still emerge victorious?
It is okay to undergo such tribulations for God will never cease to be your source of strength, joy, peace and grace. He sees and knows whatever situations you are in, so trust the journey. Pray for those who hurt you no matter how difficult that may be. Forgive them anyway. It’s not your fault that they have a bad day, is it? Worry yourself no more, rejoice in the Lord and whatever you do, do it unto God.
Until next time, BE YOU. 
Adios!